1 day my mom says yeah sure you can go for Subang Rally,
Next day??
"What is this?? Exam results so bad also wanna go?
What you promise me yesterday?
Say you'll make a schedule of what you're going to
do in order to get straight A's for PMR right?
Haven't do yet? Then wait lo.
Ask your father if you're so impatient"
"But mom, you already said I could go."
"But did you listen to me to make a schedule?"
"Haven't yet. Give me time"
"Give you time? I gave you 1 day"
"But my friends are going. I went last year.
Its a good thing to go to. Some more got Pastor Kenneth going"
"I don't care who is going. You stay home and think about
whether you deserve to go or not"
"Think? I think if I deserve to go also you won't let me right"
"Whatever la. You go ask your father la. Your results like this"
"Mom, is studying all about results"
"Yes, you think just doing the minda thing you can get A?"
"You asked me to do the minda thing right?"
"I also ask you to read your textbooks right? Did you read?
Your textbook all over the place, you think you got read?"
"Its because I read thats why its everywhere right?"
"Stop giving excuses la. Didn't read means didn't read la"
"I did. You don't believe me is it?"
"I do but see your results and what I asked you to do,
Did you put enough effort?"
I slammed the door and walked away waiting for my dad to come home now.
To my mom,
Is my effort enough? Did I ever said I was proud of my results? What did I promise you? I said I'll study harder for my trails and PMR. You never believe me in anything that I do. If you did, you would trust me that there was CF this week. You never trusted me that I was not feeling well and still asked me to go to school. I know I might have gotten 2nd last in class. But did I aim for it? You kept saying "I knew you would get last or 2nd last". So you should have expected this. You never asked what I wanted to do. I go for football every week just to get away from the stress of studying. But you keep saying that I don't study. You promised me a PSP or a laptop for my UPSR 5 A result. But where is it? No where to be found. I know I'm not suppose to be getting A's for the things I would get. But so what, I've completely lost my trust in you. Maybe I want to do stuff that you wouldn't let me do. I wanted to join cheer but what happened? you asked me to quit cause I was getting bad results? All you think I do on the computer is play and talk. But I'm doing my project also you don't know. Yeah maybe my efforts this term isn't as good as last year but I tried my best. I worked so much for it. You don't even know that I'm more disappointed in myself than you are of me? You keep asking me to be an accountant or a scientist because I'm good in numbers and science. But have you ever asked me what I want to become? You don't know how much abuse I take everyday at home. You never bothered about me and I don't think you ever will. Wherever and whatever I do there's always questions. Just trust me for once. Is that so freaking hard to ask for? I've thought about leaving the house several times. Whatever work anybody has to do in this house will be pushed to me.
A simple phone call, if I'm in the bathroom, no one answers and everyone will blame me for not picking up the phone. Am I the only one with legs???!!!!
You bloody failure son,
Brandon
